Sketch: hypnotic swirl of illusions and delusions >>

I’m going to count down from ten and, as we get closer to the number one, your eyelids will start to get heavier, and you’ll feel very sleepy. Oh yes. “Just another sketch,” I hear you cry. But this week the boy can’t help it, as hypnotism was the big theme that emerged from the soporific mind of Elmer Fudd (aka Labour leader... Read more

---

Sketch: To be or not to be or not to mention the ‘I’ word at all >>

Good old Holyrood. Just when you think you’re in for a dull time, matters always liven up. Put another way: thank goodness for Annabel Goldie. And thank goodness somebody mentioned independence. I’m not saying that knife crime – the subject that opened First Minister’s Questions – is dull. Far from it, obviously. It’s just... Read more

---

Sketch: Fessing up to messing up >>

Nicola Sturgeon apologised yesterday for acting like a lawyer. Arraigned before the notoriously harsh court of public opinion, the health minister decided to break the unofficial politicians’ code of conduct in two ways: she apologised and said she’d got something wrong. The mob gasped and, unexpectedly, a wave of sympathy flooded towards... Read more

---

Sketch: Tasty steaks and rancid carrots: the Parlie session so far >>

When the school playgrounds fall quiet so, oddly enough, does Parliament. Yup, in line with the children’s holidays, our representatives are on holiday this week, so no sketch on account of there being a lack of sound and fury signifying sod all. However, I thought I’d take a look at the term so far, spending a few lines on the highs and... Read more

---

Sketch: Nicola faces enemies at the gate >>

Well, at least Lunchgate was off the menu, even if we had to put up with a meal being made of the Deputy First Minister writing in support of a fraudster. One Gate closes and another Gate opens. Fraudgate, or whatever it is, involved Nicola Sturgeon writing a letter on behalf of a constituent recently found guilty of benefit fraud and with previous... Read more

---

Sketch: Aggravated burgery steals the show >>

Burgers and milk came up – as it were – during this week’s instalment of First Minister’s Questions in Parliament. All of which appetite-spoiling fare was apposite following revelations that citizens were paying nine grand a time to sit and have dinner with the First Minister, Alex Salmond. Presumably, there was more than burgers and... Read more

---

Sketch: Black and white and not-quite-dead all over >>

I want you to picture a man in his pyjamas lying down in front of a bulldozer. Ah, some of you are ahead of me already. You have recognised the man as Arthur Dent, from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Put the image in your pending tray, for we will return to it later (albeit briefly), as we discuss the topic: Whither Local Newspapers. Their... Read more

---

Sketch: Bakunin, where art thou? >>

Question: is oppositional politics a constructive or destructive thing? In particular, is First Minister’s Questions, highlight of the oppositional week, the best way to do things? The sad answer is: probably. And yet rammies like today’s just seem so, well, 17th century somehow. Delving even further back, you could imagine neanderthal moots... Read more

---

Sketch: A nose by any other name >>

The last thing you expect at First Minister’s Questions is to be offered a “bouquet of absurdity”. A panoply perhaps. But a bouquet? We smelled a rat. It was Labour leader Elmer Fudd who introduced a pong into the chamber when he raised a question about – wait for it – “the security of the Queen and her family”. Oh, my God. How... Read more

---

Sketch: King Cnut’s tootsies trip up Annabel >>

There was controversy over the tootsies of King Cnut in the Scottish Parliament yesterday. But that wasn’t the oddest thing. The oddest thing was the consensus. True, the subject under advisement was the need to tackle illiteracy. But, even so, the hardliners on the Labour and SNP benches usually couldn’t attend a church social without attempting... Read more

---